My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
