As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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