so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
