Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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