how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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