it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
