her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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