what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I forgot how hot balto sounded
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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