hell yes lets make some ravioli
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
