I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
