Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
