Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
