He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
