I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
