This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
