My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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