school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
