marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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