Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
too bad you live with your parents still
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
