dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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