More tranny stories later!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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