Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
