And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
