He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
