Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
