I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
