Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
