so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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