She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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