Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
