Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
