How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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