can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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