That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just cut my nipple shaving
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
