Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
