I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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