dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
