I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
