Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
