Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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