Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
