There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
