so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
