We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
