Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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