it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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