I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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