my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
