dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
