I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
